Women of Vietnam (by JuJu)

**Warning** this will be FULL of stereotypes and generalizations.

People are complicated. Putting individuals in a box or slapping on labels is simplistic, I know.

However, there have been some common threads that are visible to my eyes as a visitor.

In general, women in Vietnam are self assured, strong, sassy, demanding, hard working, industrious and forthright.

And a few are high maintenance and social media driven. More on that later.

With the coming of the New Year many young women gather at the picturesque lake in the center of town, Hoan Keim Lake. They are elegantly dressed in the traditional ao dai ( pronounced ow zigh.) They pose in practiced positions and look quite demure.

Before moving on to the other women we have encountered, I want to touch on the social media culture. It’s kind of bonkers. Life is a giant photo op here. The constant posing and checking for the just right photo over and over again is like nothing I have ever seen.

Again forgive the stereotypes, but young women do their hair and makeup, pose demurely, then run to their photographer to choose the perfect picture or to refine their pose or lighting. Our guides both said they will take hundreds of pictures just to get one winner.

This attention to social media fuels the need to be beautiful. Honestly, the women here are very beautiful. They pay a great deal of attention to skin care routines and do not allow their skin to see sun. We learned that Korean TV dramas influence the current view of beauty. Light skin is the most desirable look.

We spent time with a famous musician while in Hanoi. He was accompanied by his student, who is now a teacher as well. She expertly played traditional instruments with elegance and grace. When I tried to pluck a few measly notes she was gentle and encouraging yet firm.

Our trip to the moonshine brewer’s home in My Chou was such a treat! it was a family operation but it was clear that mom ran the business. Like many of the couples we encountered, the husband took a back seat and allowed her to do most of the communication and hosting. She moved with confidence and had a command of her domain for sure.

While in My Chou, we met a restaurant owner and her daughter who belonged to the white Thai tribe. They prepared an enormous meal that included ant egg soup. The soup, made at our guide’s request, was expensive and took a great deal of work to make. Evidently the father and daughter gathered the ants and the eggs deep in the mountains that morning. It took quite the effort but I ate a few bites, and it was not my favorite.

The owner was eager to meet us! She proudly served us home brewed rice wine flavored with banana and did several shots with us. I’m sure she could drink us under the table. She tried to teach us how to toast in Vietnamese- we were pretty terrible. To document the visit she confidently positioned us for a picture in the perfect spot.

Our Driver Hien in Hue and HoiAn

It is highly unusual for women to be drivers for tour companies (<1%.) That makes sense actually in that the drivers accompany tourist through much of their itinerary. They stay alone in home-stays or hostels. Like most of the world, women are expected to raise the children, so being on the road constantly is not conducive with motherhood in the traditional sense. Hien was professional and a very careful driver in an absolutely chaotic driving environment. Hien handled our very heavy luggage with ease and packed the car like a jenga champ.

She also took beautiful photographs of Malcolm and I to document our travels. She took a great deal of care when taking pictures and even helped me pose.

Hien joined us for many meals (at our insistence). I’m sure there were meals she regretted sitting with us because it turns out she’s a vegetarian! She watched on as we ate platefuls of fish, pork, whole squid and shrimp. I cannot imagine being a vegetarian in Vietnam as the fish sauce is literally in everything.

In Hoi An Ms. Vy is an incredible entrepreneur with 14 restaurants, a cooking school and her own supply chain of farms and fishing boats. At our cooking class we met Chef LuLu, a 40 year old woman that Ms. Vi pulled from poverty at a young age.

LuLu is now running the cooking school and a senior trainer for all Ms. Vi’s restaurants. Her loyalty for Ms. Vi knows no limits. And she commanded the room with both poise and a demand for excellence. We really wanted to impress her!

The young women who are in high school typically wear white Áo dài and the straw conical hat (maybe mũ hình nón.) The hats have 16 rings which symbolizes the perfect age. (I strongly call BS! And I happen to be adding this on my 58th birthday.)

While biking through a small village near Hoi An we accidentally encountered a nursery growing dahlias! The mother of the owner happened to be an elementary language teacher who was tutoring a student. WAIT… dahlias and teaching all at once. I quite literally cried.

We encountered so many women on our journey. All really strong and confident! Here’s a brief summary in pictures.

Women always manage the fish on shore and at market. Apparently it’s believed to be very bad luck to have women aboard a boat.

Lastly, Lady Buddha.

Along the central coast, Lady Buddha appears everywhere…temples, mountain sides, gift shops etc. According to our guide, prayers for the softer side of life should be directed her way, as she is compassionate.