Author: Juju

Visiting the local markets in Thailand, Vietnam and Cambodia is a daily event usually early in the morning. Many people live without refrigeration (or power for that matter), so many items are dried and salted or pickled.

Our guides explained vegetables that are not sold that day are typically made into some kind of pickle or stock, or often discarded. The meats that are not sold that day are often made into jerky, or sausage, dried or preserved.

This ultra fresh approach often means butchering at the site, the fish gills are moving, the frogs are hopping, and the chickens are clucking.

So here’s a big pic drop!

Unfortunately, we did not have an opportunity to meet many women along our leg in Cambodia. However, we did have a few meaningful exchanges.

Southeast Asia has pockets of wealth, but much of the population lives in extreme poverty. From what we could tell, there were several organizations in Cambodia that seek to empower individuals by providing job training.

One area is hospitality training. Our guide shared that there were at least 10 schools that provide training in hospitality specifically in Siem Reap alone. Students are provided training and internships that lead to full time positions. Tour guides are given intense training and need to pass both history and language tests. These jobs are an absolute life line to their families. As one can imagine, COVID was devastating to this area as tourism ground to a halt. Our guide in Cambodia was unemployed for 3 years.

I met Moly (rhymes with Holly) who was training at our hotel in Siem Reap, she was anxious to practice her English and tried to teach me how to say simple greeting in Khmer (my inability to hear foreign phonemes is astonishingly horrible.) Moly shared that she has aspirations of higher education but needs this job to support her family. She attends school in the morning and works at night. She rides her bike as transportation and is not home until 2 am!

We took a tour of the local markets and a cooking class with Neang, the manager of Lum Orng, a beautiful restaurant, cooking school and inn. While there we encountered a young women, Tia, who was an intern. She was highly professional and self-assured. It was clear that she was an apprentice showing a lot of respect to a master. Mr. Orng shared that his team is committed to bettering their community and consistently takes on new interns for training.

Also deeply committed to the community was Ms. Pheach, the owner and operator of a silk farm. She was the daughter of an Uruguayan diplomat – born in Cambodia but educated in France. She was an expat during the devastations of Pol Pot, but has a deep love of Cambodia and spent over an hour with us to discuss its history.

There were times that she held back tears while expressing the impact of years of war. She returned to Cambodia as an adult to work at refugee camps. But she wanted to do more, so she and her husband financed and started a silk farm.

Her goal with this farm is to employ the local women with meaningful work while keeping a long tradition of silk making. The garments they create are intricate with complex hand written patterns. Her work has been featured in many museums and she does custom work for wealthy benefactors.

In the markets we encountered on our trip, the women are the primary business operators. The women organize transportation, set up shop early in the morning and sell what their community farms have produced.

Mac mentioned the Apsara earlier and they’re dominant female figures in both Cambodia and Thailand. Apsara are part of the Hindu creation story, dancers who mimic the churning of primordial waters.

The Cambodian version has both the historic Apsara in their temples, and current-day Apsara – trained dancers who serve in their religious ceremonies.

The Thai Apsara are heavenly entities, Angels and Guardians, with both human and animal characteristics.

In general the Thai version of Hindu-Buddhism’s is a much more feminine spiritual and earthly practice. Animist nature spirits (usually female) are a big part. The wives of Vishnu and role of the Thai Queen are also pronounced. Another character we mentioned, Phra Mae Thoranee, the Thai earth mother, is omnipresent. Apparently, Buddah was tempted by demons while meditating under a tree. Phra Mae Thoranee wrung water from her hair creating a flood that washed the tempters away.

Unlike in Vietnam and Cambodia, our guides in Thailand were both women – highly educated, self possessed ladies in full command of the tour. It took our guides a bit to understand we loved street food and did NOT want to restaurant. Once they figured us out the experience was awesome!

While in a small floating market, I (Juju) met an older woman selling sticky rice in banana leaves. With the help of our guide, Siri, she shared that she makes her sticky rice the old fashioned way and takes a great deal of time and care. The younger generation doesn’t have the patience to carry on this tradition. She said she comes to the market daily to see her friends and meet people. While we chatted she asked me to try her sticky rice so she could watch my expression. They were quite good…I was so relieved I didn’t have to fake it!

I want to note that Malcolm has been a meticulous note taker and digester of incredible amounts of information. While I’m “in the moment,” taking it all in (maybe even day dreaming or half listening), Malcolm is taking notes and getting all the facts straight. It has been heavy lifting understanding pretty complicated religions and political situations.

Thank you for being an amazing travel partner.

**Warning** this will be FULL of stereotypes and generalizations.

People are complicated. Putting individuals in a box or slapping on labels is simplistic, I know.

However, there have been some common threads that are visible to my eyes as a visitor.

In general, women in Vietnam are self assured, strong, sassy, demanding, hard working, industrious and forthright.

And a few are high maintenance and social media driven. More on that later.

With the coming of the New Year many young women gather at the picturesque lake in the center of town, Hoan Keim Lake. They are elegantly dressed in the traditional ao dai ( pronounced ow zigh.) They pose in practiced positions and look quite demure.

Before moving on to the other women we have encountered, I want to touch on the social media culture. It’s kind of bonkers. Life is a giant photo op here. The constant posing and checking for the just right photo over and over again is like nothing I have ever seen.

Again forgive the stereotypes, but young women do their hair and makeup, pose demurely, then run to their photographer to choose the perfect picture or to refine their pose or lighting. Our guides both said they will take hundreds of pictures just to get one winner.

This attention to social media fuels the need to be beautiful. Honestly, the women here are very beautiful. They pay a great deal of attention to skin care routines and do not allow their skin to see sun. We learned that Korean TV dramas influence the current view of beauty. Light skin is the most desirable look.

We spent time with a famous musician while in Hanoi. He was accompanied by his student, who is now a teacher as well. She expertly played traditional instruments with elegance and grace. When I tried to pluck a few measly notes she was gentle and encouraging yet firm.

Our trip to the moonshine brewer’s home in My Chou was such a treat! it was a family operation but it was clear that mom ran the business. Like many of the couples we encountered, the husband took a back seat and allowed her to do most of the communication and hosting. She moved with confidence and had a command of her domain for sure.

While in My Chou, we met a restaurant owner and her daughter who belonged to the white Thai tribe. They prepared an enormous meal that included ant egg soup. The soup, made at our guide’s request, was expensive and took a great deal of work to make. Evidently the father and daughter gathered the ants and the eggs deep in the mountains that morning. It took quite the effort but I ate a few bites, and it was not my favorite.

The owner was eager to meet us! She proudly served us home brewed rice wine flavored with banana and did several shots with us. I’m sure she could drink us under the table. She tried to teach us how to toast in Vietnamese- we were pretty terrible. To document the visit she confidently positioned us for a picture in the perfect spot.

Our Driver Hien in Hue and HoiAn

It is highly unusual for women to be drivers for tour companies (<1%.) That makes sense actually in that the drivers accompany tourist through much of their itinerary. They stay alone in home-stays or hostels. Like most of the world, women are expected to raise the children, so being on the road constantly is not conducive with motherhood in the traditional sense. Hien was professional and a very careful driver in an absolutely chaotic driving environment. Hien handled our very heavy luggage with ease and packed the car like a jenga champ.

She also took beautiful photographs of Malcolm and I to document our travels. She took a great deal of care when taking pictures and even helped me pose.

Hien joined us for many meals (at our insistence). I’m sure there were meals she regretted sitting with us because it turns out she’s a vegetarian! She watched on as we ate platefuls of fish, pork, whole squid and shrimp. I cannot imagine being a vegetarian in Vietnam as the fish sauce is literally in everything.

In Hoi An Ms. Vy is an incredible entrepreneur with 14 restaurants, a cooking school and her own supply chain of farms and fishing boats. At our cooking class we met Chef LuLu, a 40 year old woman that Ms. Vi pulled from poverty at a young age.

LuLu is now running the cooking school and a senior trainer for all Ms. Vi’s restaurants. Her loyalty for Ms. Vi knows no limits. And she commanded the room with both poise and a demand for excellence. We really wanted to impress her!

The young women who are in high school typically wear white Áo dài and the straw conical hat (maybe mũ hình nón.) The hats have 16 rings which symbolizes the perfect age. (I strongly call BS! And I happen to be adding this on my 58th birthday.)

While biking through a small village near Hoi An we accidentally encountered a nursery growing dahlias! The mother of the owner happened to be an elementary language teacher who was tutoring a student. WAIT… dahlias and teaching all at once. I quite literally cried.

We encountered so many women on our journey. All really strong and confident! Here’s a brief summary in pictures.

Women always manage the fish on shore and at market. Apparently it’s believed to be very bad luck to have women aboard a boat.

Lastly, Lady Buddha.

Along the central coast, Lady Buddha appears everywhere…temples, mountain sides, gift shops etc. According to our guide, prayers for the softer side of life should be directed her way, as she is compassionate.

It’s a ubiquitous belly filler!

Yes, this amazing noodle soup is eaten any time of day…including breakfast. From what I can tell, Phở is an open tent kind of soup with many permutations. However, it does appear to have a few parameters.

Adding additional sauces (soy, oyster) is a no go. Bean sprouts are nowhere to be found. We learned that the most authentic shops choose either chicken or beef stock as a specialty and do not offer both. As you eat, each bite is constructed in the spoon. Metal spoons are far superior because you can easily cut the long noodles.

While I love the big hearty beef stock, my favorite has been a more delicate chicken base with anise and cinnamon.

Phở for breakfast has been a bit of a paradigm shift. We’ve learned it’s a great start to the day!

There are other variations, or at least noodle soups we ran into. Bun Cha with BBQ pork – Bourdain’s favorite. My Quang, a southern take and the favorite of our driver Hien. And Bun Bo Hue (a Viet Kimchee Soup)

Phuket offers a variety with chicken sausages and BIG cinnamon tones.

It’s also a great way to end the day.

As a reading teacher and student of phonics I’m fascinated. The written language of the Vietnamese has a unique feature: diacritics. These are the 5 symbols over the vowels that indicate tone, and four vowel modifications indicating pronunciation. With these vowels included, and several of our consonants removed, the Vietnamese alphabet has 29 letters.

At first it seems very complicated, but the notation tells an educated reader or speaker exactly how to pronounce and inflect the word, and it very much matters.

Consider Pho, which in the US is widely mispronounced and means noodle soup…

(So I’m going down to the Pho to get some Pho with my favorite Pho? Be careful!)

The word Ma, depending on its diacritic, can mean – mom, horse, cemetery or ghost. And so on.

Vietnamese music developed in parallel and reflects this dynamic sing-song language. In order to create the sounds that wobble and bend, and rise and fall, they need flexibility. Variations within a single note – bends, slides etc mimic the variations in a given vowel.

Their instrument design, for example the guitar fret board, also provides this flexibility

Interestingly their scale also has fewer notes in a scale, 5 versus 7 with no B or E. The scale of 5 notes is meant to reflect the elements (fire, water, earth, metal, and wood.)

Meanwhile Mac and I are struggling to get the right sounds on hello and thank you

Greetings. Justine and I are off on a 3 and a half week SouthEast Asian adventure. We’ll be travelling in Vietnam, Cambodia and Thailand leaving on January 10th and returning on February 4th. We’re going to attempt to blog – primarily as a record and travelogue for ourselves. But you’re welcome to follow along. We’re still working through the tech so bear with us…